Broken

All of the things that I thought I knew

All of the the things I let define me

Now lie on the floor broken and shattered

All I see is pieces strewn here and there

Remanants of the lies that I have been told

All of the lies that I believed, and that I let confine me

I try to pick up the pieces to put it back together,

And the glass stabs me, the blood runs free and flows

Releasing the pain that I held inside

That kept me captive and held me down

All the thoughts that oppressed me

Something new is being born inside

Forget the past and move on to the future

I can never be the same again

The blood covers the floor and cleans the glass

The distortion is gone, it is fresh and new

This thing that is coming will be more beautiful then anything before it

Now is the time to fix it, to make it whole again

It will not be the same, good riddence to the old

Sometimes all we see is the cracks

Take a step back and look at the whole thing

Its beauty lies in the whole and not just the part

Truth has a way of coming out

I have been broken and used, and now,

My true usefulness is ready, ready for others who are broken

To be renewed and find themselves as whole again

Replace

There is nothing Jesus can give you, that will not be better when the world replaces it...

We replace love with sex,
the Holy Spirit with alcohol
Grace with judgement
Mercy with anger
Peace with war and acts of violence
True joy with drugs that only give us a quick fix
We search for significace in the relationships we have,
In the things we own,
Or how much money we make.
Yet in the end we find ourselves empty and still longing,
Longing for that one thing that will satisfy us,
That one thing that will fill us and make us whole.
All of these things are deceptive and seem to bring hapiness,
Yet it eludes us.
We deny the one source that will give us everything,
Because we think it will bind us down.
When all of these previous things are the ones that keep us down,
Keep us searching.
God is the only source that can do it all,
And the only one who knows our true worth
That does not rely on looks or what we do for a living,
But only on His love for us,
And in the long run that is all that matters.

Words

At this moment
As I kneel before the King
The words that I have prepared, are as of nothing
They are dead before they even reach my lips
What they say is not enough
To show what You are truly worth
Or who You truly are
All that matters is that we are here in this moment
Before the King
And what is in our hearts
That, which is deep down within trying to escape
Trying to make sense of all that You are
But they can never express everything you are
But within my heart there is:
The gratefulness of Your mercy towards me
Thankfulness for all You have done and will do
Awe for standing in Your presence
The knowledge of my sin and Your love and grace
Worship for who You are and will always be
And the deep longing to know You more
What I have to say you do not need to hear
Because you already know
You already see
Thank you for who You are

Change

Looking back I can't remember
That exact moment that the change began
That I began to look at the world differently
Looking past what I was told
Knowing there was more to the story
Then they were letting on
When was that moment
That the voice inside me
Needed to be heard
That I could no longer be quiet
Sitting back with nothing to say
Was no longer an option
When was that moment
That I began to open up
And in doing so
Began to grow apart from my friends
Seeing who truly loved me
For who I was
I look back on those days
That I was so afraid to be different
Thanking God for this change
To be truly who He created me to be

Fall

Don''t you remember
That I am at the end of my rope
Holding on as tight as I can?
Then why
Do you keep sending me
These trials and tests
One after another
I can't take it anymore
I can't go on!
Don't you listen?
Don't you care?
Everyone else seems to have more than enough rope
Not even struggling a little
Oh, wait
Maybe now I see
You want me to fall
To trust you
And then, when I fall
You will catch me

Song

As I look out my window
The sun is shining
The wind is blowing gently through the trees
The birds are singing a gentle melody
They are calling to me
Come, join us
Put those cares behind you
Join in our song
Sing for joy!
For when you start to sing
All those problems fade away
Come feel the warmth of the sun
And the cool shade of the trees
You belong with us
Singing our song

Scars

Scars--the constant reminder
Of the pain I hide
And the sickness
That consumes my days
I used to think they were ugly
Ashamed of being different
Masking the truth of who I am
But now
They are symbolsS
howing strength, courage and survival
They are beautiful
My most precious trait

If She Only Knew

She sits in the dark
Wondering if anyone cares
People see her
But they do not know
The secrets that she keeps
She cries alone
The depths of her heart
Are crying aloud
Will someone notice?
Will someone care?
Every moment is a new wound
There seems to be no cure
The cut goes deeper
Their lies have become truth
She has no place to hide
No where that she can escape
The war that is going on inside
She is weak from the sobbing
Yet she cannnot sleep
The darkess consumes her
Who will save her?

If she only kew
That the King of Kings is with her
Look, He holds her now
Yet she is unaware
He knows everything about her
And loves her so much
If she oly knew
He is the one that formed her and
Knew her before the earth was created
He is collecting every tear and is
Singing over her a love song
His heart is breaking
If she only knew
That the God of all the earth
Was seeking her out,
Calling her to His embrace
The morning light will
Remove all the darkness within her
She will be His glory
His most precious child

Again

Draw me near to your heart Lord
To the place where everything else melts away
All the cares of the world sink to the wayside
You are the creator of the whole earth, the maker of my heart
Hide all the stains that would seperate us.
Take all of the pain that consumes every part of my soul.
The fires around me seem to great and the path ahead too hard.
Without you i can't go even one more step.
The weakness is overtaking every fiber of my being.
The doubt is climbing, the fire dying.
The coldness seems to seep through my viens stop it before it takes control.
I miss your touch,
The touch that heals
I miss your voice,
the voice that comforts
I miss your presence,
because there I am everything you createed to be.
Come again, Lord reveal yourself once more

Running

Run, run, that is what my flesh is telling me
Letting me know I am no longer cared for
That my purpose is used up
And no longer needed
Anger and pain rise up in me
If I could only go away
Somewhere new, somewhere different
Thinking that would make a difference
But I know that I cannot run away from myself
That is a lie, a lie!
I scream as it fights its way to my brain
The Truth is in me
And His light will outshine the darkness that tries to consume me
As the tears well up I cry out to God to save me
Yet He is silent
All I hear is my haeart beat
The tears stream down my face
Timpe spent on my knees, begging
Wondering
Waiting
And then, a word, whispered in my ear
You are Mine, You are worthwhile
The light flickers on
The enemy leaves
I lie in the arms of my Father
Who holds and comforts me
This is all I need, this is my Home

Tina

As she sits in the dark crying
She grabs the razor from the shelf
She places it against her wrist
Where scars of previous pains reveal themselves
She wants to feel the pain
She needs to know she is alive
She has used every drug
She has tried men
But the high that she seeks, eludes her
It draws her down further each time
Making her want more
This time she slips into darkness,
Trying to grasp onto the light
But the darkness overcomes her, she is slipping away
Then He carries her out of the darkness
And she hears Him whispering
Darling Daughter
You cannot go, not now
I have chosen you and created you To save the abused, rejected and neglected
They will come to you and you will show them love and Life
Hang on to Me beloved
I will never let you go, you are Mine

Identity

People speak of Your healing
Gone forever the diseases of yesterday
So, why not me?
Do I not have enough faith?
That can't be it
It's this fear I have
Gripping, pushing me back
That this disease defines me
Without it there will be nothing left
No one worth seeing
No one worth loving
This is where the true distortion lies
It is ridiculous!
Nothing defines me but YOU!
I am the daughter of a King
Your love,
The one You died for
Grant me new eyes to see
And know where my true identity belongs

Strength?

People keep telling me
You are so strong
Stop it! Stop it!
What is strength
If you have no choice in the matter?
The only other option is death
Sounds more like a coward to me
Fearful to face my sins
Thinking I can redeem myself tomorrow
Hoping the next day is better than this one
Wishing to run the race
Clinging to the grace of God
Every day and every minute

Stop!

Stop!
Telling me
What I should do
Who you think I should be
How I should live
Stop!
Saying you are better than me
Ripping apart my dreams
Saying I am no good
Stop!
Giving me no chances
No encouragement
Giving only your bitter words
Stop!
Well I have news for you
I will fly
Just wait and see
Oh yes I will fly
High above the trees
Where you can't touch me
Oh you will see
How high I can fly